(no subject)

[weary_head]

Dean's body ached from the inside out, every last part of it wound so tight it was a wonder he had any strength left for walking, but walk Dean did. His feet had carried him to every part of the island at least twice, and now they'd brought him to the tree Sam had taken from the jungle and planted the last time Dean disappeared.

What, you made me into Arbor Day?

Sam hadn't smiled then, and Dean didn't smile now. Between Sam's screaming absence and Castiel's news, Dean wasn't sure he'd ever smile again. Not once, back home, not once had he taken Sam for granted, and on the island it'd taken all of a year to relax his guard, let himself reach for things that made him happy, and now his little brother was gone. Back to the worst of all possible futures, and Dean was as powerless to save him as a child.

He pushed his fingers over his eyes, holding back the panic as best he could. Sam was out there, fighting Lilith with only Ruby at his side, and Dean was in fucking Margaritaville. With a grunt of dissent, Dean walked forward, head shaking angrily from side to side. They hadn't been through all of this to be separated now.

The fistful of leaves tore easily away from the branch. Dean stalked north with his prize, to the place where the path split four ways. In times past, a left would have taken them to the baseball field where the both of them had played in a way they'd never been able to as children.

He punched rather than dug the hole in the ground.

When the last leaf was buried in the ground, Dean sat back on his haunches and waited. He didn't have anything left to barter with, even if a demon did come, but he had to know.

He had to know if this was truly done.

Comments

[off-the-ceiling.livejournal.com]

Jess felt like she was wandering more than searching now, exhausted and a bit bruised up from pushing her way into places she was never meant to go and still wandering up and down paths looking, looking everywhere, waiting for that moment when she saw that familiar stance, those familiar hands, those familiar eyes.

It wasn't a surprise when she came across Dean instead; since the moment Sam had first disappeared, Jess hadn't really strayed far.

"Why isn't there something to shoot?" she said. "I could do that. I'm ready for that."

[one--song.livejournal.com]

It seemed that the great unwashed had two ways of dealing with hurt: crying in their cereal and furthering the unwashed portion, or screaming and scratching until half the world felt their pain. It also seemed that Dean planned on running the gambit on emotional responses.

Roger was surprised when he looked down and saw the leaves in his hand. He was right -- no matter what he did, no matter how many leaves he crushed in his hand and watched rain to the ground, Dean would return, maybe deep in the night and try again.

"What does it need to be?" Roger asked, pulling his eyes from the ground and settling them on Dean. "What would go in to make it work?"

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

"You're looking at it," Dean snapped. "Some part of yourself, some essence to let the demon know who's knocking."

His mouth twisted. Bastards could pick and choose from the herd that way - who dwelling topside was the most deliciously desperate? Dean rubbed at his eyes. He was tired and strung out all at once, and the thought of drudging back to that tree damn near undid him.

[loaded-wolf.livejournal.com]

"Then you'll be there to help him. Not the you here, but the you back there. You'll be together back there, I know you will," Angua said quietly, wiping the tears away with her thumbs. She pressed her forehead to Dean's temple a moment and kissed his cheek, staying close.

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

Dean's voice broke. "But I'm not. The angels, they've got me locked up for some reason, and Sam's with Ruby. He's using his powers and he shouldn't - " His breath hitched. "Cas sent me to him but I don't know if I made it. He's gonna get hurt."

[one--song.livejournal.com]

"Huh." As Roger ran a hand seemingly innocently through his hair, he had to wonder how many times this had been done. How many souls had the demons claimed in the name of wealth, jealousy, greed, love? And how could he blame Dean for giving himself up for the last? Roger had done it himself in so many words so, so many times, and to the point where he wasn't sure what was left to give.

In the span of a second, Roger was crouched at the site. The hand that had been in his hair snapped forth violently, and the hand he produced was clutched around a clump of long, dirty blond hair. He shoved both hands -- that and the handful of leaves -- deep into the Earth and gathered some of the fallen leaves as well to shove in. He scooped the earth surrounding in to fill the gap and still quickly, once again placing himself between Dean and the crossroads.

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

Later, Dean would blame exhaustion for the fact that Roger managed to bury that clump of hair before Dean even had a hand out, but the truth was, he'd been too shocked to move.

That blissful numb of surprise didn't last for long, no, in an instant it was replaced with cold, blind panic. Dean's knees hit the ground, one hand beating frantically at the earth covering the hair and leaves, the other slipping the gun from his waistband. "Fuck you," he muttered around a throat locked up so tight it was a wonder he could speak at all. His head spun wildly, searching for a threat to Roger, and when he found none Dean used the barrel of the gun to dig deep, desperate grooves in the ground until he saw green.

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

"There's always something to shoot," Dean murmured, wishing he'd at least gotten some water before going to his luck with a tardy demon.

"Doesn't help."

[one--song.livejournal.com]

The stumble back only lasted a step before Roger clamped his hands around Dean's shoulder, wrenching him back from the resting place Roger had been only moments ago. It wasn't exactly easy, and neither was placing himself in Dean's way, once again.

"Stop!" He barked, and loud as it was, he looked absolutely pained. "I've already lived past when I was supposed to. If this fucking thing shows up, anything it will give me is more than I was going to get."

[little_moons]

"I know," I murmur quietly, fighting the urge to shift over closer. Fighting it, because the line here seems to be drawn at pats on the back and a few awkward hugs. Stubbornly avoided talks about feelings, emotions covered with grunts and thinly veiled threats of bodily harm. It's a boundary I'm still learning how to navigate -- a dynamic I've never really experienced before. Never had a brother, not even a guy friend growing up...

Preston doesn't count.

So, in other words, sometimes I feel like a giant dick around him. I just gotta get used to it.

[loaded-wolf.livejournal.com]

Angua kissed Dean again and wrapped her arms around him. "Shh...Dean, an angel sent you. He's powerful, isn't he? If he sent you I bet chances are pretty good that it worked," she said, smoothing a hand over his hair.

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

"You'll go to hell," Dean bellowed, scrambling up from the ground. His arm ached, the elbow with dirt buried in it a centimeter deep, but he levered himself back towards the mound of earth. "Whatever you've been through, that's worse. It's everything you've been through, every day for the rest of forever, Roger."

[off-the-ceiling.livejournal.com]

"You sure?" said Jess. "Cause it feels like it would help." She didn't have a gun in her hand at the moment, but if she wanted one there it wouldn't take long. "You found something better?"

[one--song.livejournal.com]

"What the fuck does it matter?" Roger called back, arms tangling with Dean's to shove him backward again -- anything to keep him far enough away from the buried offering. "I shot heroin, I don't believe in God, I've watched my friends die, I did fucked up shit for cash while I was on the street and I fuck other men. I'm hellbound already. Maybe this way I can make a fucking difference." He turned sidelong, ready to hold Dean off with all of his strength. God, he really hoped this thing had no... jurisdiction or whatever on the Island. But if it went down...

He lifted his chin, ready to take Dean on if he came at him again. It was a fight he would surely lose, but if it held him off, he was willing to take that chance.

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

"And then what?" Dean couldn't help but ask. "When does it fucking stop? Why can't he just be here, and be safe. He was for years." His fingers wrapped around Angua's wrists, holding on. "Why now?"

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

It couldn't have been more than the space of a breath or two, but Dean felt frozen for an eternity before he lunged. He'd known Roger had issues, far more than even the multitude he wore on his sleeve, but to hear them spoken so brazenly...

Dean's body was moving forward before he had time to will it so. "Fuck you," he snarled, catching Roger around the waist. They hit the ground hard enough to send up a spray of dirt. "None of that means anything. You're a good man and you don't deserve this. Nobody does." He startled at the drop of wet that exploded suddenly against Roger's cheek. Dean swiped hard beneath his eyes, ensuring no more would find a similar mark. "Two good men have died for me already. That's two too many, and I wouldn't - I'd never want that for you." Dean shook his head. "Not you, no matter what I got out of it."

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

"I guess you knew," said Dean, eyes flicking towards Neil's feet but no further. "That we wouldn't find anything. Thanks for coming anyway."

Dean sighed, looking at the useful mound of earth between them. "He liked you."

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

Dean shook his head, tired enough that he could swear he felt his brain rattle with the motion. "Last ditch effort," he said, and it was on the tip of his tongue to tell her to get the hell out of here, to leave him alone and go where she'd be safe, but the words didn't come. Sam wouldn't have wanted them to.

"You know he planted that tree for me."

[one--song.livejournal.com]

Roger had expected Dean's bile, hell, he'd counted on it, but what he hadn't expected was to land flat on his back with Dean hovering murderous and righteous over him.

"Then don't make me have to!" Roger said, the fight in him returning as he jolted his right shoulder in a likely futile attempt to throw Dean off. "Don't play the fucking martyr and leave me here to deal with this place by my self!" It was a little too much honesty, and Roger swung a leg free with surprising and unknown momentum.

[loaded-wolf.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," Angua said, trying to be strong, but her own voice trembled. Her biggest fear was that she would wake up one morning and Dean would be gone, taken from her for good. She understood his fear, and that's what made it even worse.

"He might come back. You did," she said, breath hitching. "He might."

[little_moons]

"I've been here a long time, man. After a while you just sorta... know," I say, then, coughing out a bitter laugh, "Last couple times, I haven't even really looked. How fucked up is that?"

Another strained cough of laughter and I say, "Anyway, I think he pretty much just put up with me."

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

"Goddammit," Dean snarled, catching the leg against his ribs. "You don't - " Dean's head whipped around at a sound from behind them, faint as a twig snapping. He had his gun off the ground and pointed in the direction of the noise before Roger's leg even returned to earth.

Dean blinked fiercely, but there was nothing there but jungle. Green and blue and brown met his eyes, but not an ounce of red. For the first time since Roger had smoothed dirt back over the ground, Dean began to wonder.

Was nothing coming after all?

[off-the-ceiling.livejournal.com]

"When I first knew Sam I hadn't even met you," said Jess, fingering the hilt of her knife without even really thinking about it, comforted just by its presence, "and now I can't imagine one of you without the other."

There was more she could say, but she bit her lip hard to hold it back.

[one--song.livejournal.com]

Though he hadn't heard anything at all, he pushed himself up to a seated position, legs sprawled uselessly in front of him as he trained his eyes to where Dean's were. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and dropped his head for a moment.

"See?" Roger said softly, almost entirely unable to hear his own speech over the thudding of his heartbeat. "We're out of the coverage area." He remembered vaguely that he kicked Dean a second ago and swallowed over that misstep. "I'm sorry, Dean. That it had to happen." He knew better than the reiterate what 'it' was. "But I'm not sorry that you're still here."

[weary-head.livejournal.com]

Dean nodded, pressing his face hard against her shoulder. He wanted to believe Sam would come back. Given everything else that had happened in this place, he almost could, but it was the island that had sent Sam away again.

"I don't want to leave you," he whispered. "I just want to be with him."