weary_head: Serious (Can't look away.)
Dean thinks he's doing pretty good. He's drinking more, sure, but he's taking breaks, he's getting shit done. Looking after Cori and the rest, after the clinic, after his studies, he's got it under control. Not eating as much as he could be, if the grousing in his ear is to be believed, but he feels as fine as he's going to, stuck yet again on an island with no way to get to his brother.

Faye's cleaned the half-full plates from beneath his bed, and Dean sits alongside it, ass on the hard bamboo floor with his guitar in his hands. He doesn't really feel like playing, but he doesn't feel like thinking either, so he strums and hums along, old tunes he'd subjected Sam to a hundred times on the roads at home.

Whatever stretch of road Sam is on now, they're probably doing just this, Dean behind the wheel and Sam's long body stretched out beside him, Sam mouthing words to songs he pretends to hate. Playing on his own is nothing like having Sam with him, but for now, it's as close as Dean's going to get.
weary_head: (Beer.)
Dean missed his fucking car.

So goddamn beautiful, that sleek black exterior, holding Dean's weight night after night when he'd drink on her hood, big bench seat cradling him when he slept it off after. Even at rest, Dean thought she might be the best thing that ever happened to him, and he missed her as much as he missed any who'd come and gone on the island.

But she was gone, and now Dean had an emptying neighborhood and a rooftop covered in snow, a hut beneath him threatening to get emptier at any second. He had a parka that wasn't quite doing the trick and a fistful of whiskey bottle, an eyefull of the nighttime sky up above, and it wasn't like the real thing, it wasn't even close, but at the moment...at the moment.

It was what Dean had.
weary_head: (Default)
Afer this, which followed this.

Angua'd only been gone a moment before Dean got sick of staring at the bedroom wall. He stood up slowly, feeling like he'd gone a few dozen rounds, when in truth all he'd done was welcome his baby brother back to the island. He wasn't sure how great a welcome that'd been, either, but it was hard to think fast when his head was suddenly full to bursting with thoughts of the apocalypse.

"Dammit," he muttered. Rubbing at his tired eyes, Dean wondered how long it'd take Angua to find Cas, wondered if he even wanted to know what the angel would have to say. Right now, as unbearable as the uncertainty was, Dean thought he'd take it over full knowledge of what had happened to his brother back home. He wandered out into the living area, stopping short when he saw Roger still sitting there, expectant look on his face.

There was something in it that made Dean's heart twitch painfully in his chest, made him want to sit down and spill his guts. Even now it shocked Dean - it'd been almost a year, and he was still getting used to what having a best friend was like.

"Hey," he said quietly.
weary_head: (Done.)
Dean's body ached from the inside out, every last part of it wound so tight it was a wonder he had any strength left for walking, but walk Dean did. His feet had carried him to every part of the island at least twice, and now they'd brought him to the tree Sam had taken from the jungle and planted the last time Dean disappeared.

What, you made me into Arbor Day?

Sam hadn't smiled then, and Dean didn't smile now. Between Sam's screaming absence and Castiel's news, Dean wasn't sure he'd ever smile again. Not once, back home, not once had he taken Sam for granted, and on the island it'd taken all of a year to relax his guard, let himself reach for things that made him happy, and now his little brother was gone. Back to the worst of all possible futures, and Dean was as powerless to save him as a child.

He pushed his fingers over his eyes, holding back the panic as best he could. Sam was out there, fighting Lilith with only Ruby at his side, and Dean was in fucking Margaritaville. With a grunt of dissent, Dean walked forward, head shaking angrily from side to side. They hadn't been through all of this to be separated now.

The fistful of leaves tore easily away from the branch. Dean stalked north with his prize, to the place where the path split four ways. In times past, a left would have taken them to the baseball field where the both of them had played in a way they'd never been able to as children.

He punched rather than dug the hole in the ground.

When the last leaf was buried in the ground, Dean sat back on his haunches and waited. He didn't have anything left to barter with, even if a demon did come, but he had to know.

He had to know if this was truly done.

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Dean Winchester

November 2020

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